Pork Sausage the Hard Way

Ok. So here is the most complicated pork sausage recipe ever. (note this is a group effort that requires the use of your husband and the husbands of several of your friends)

First: Wander out in your back yard early in the morning to feed the cows and see a really big pig in the cow pen. Call all of the small children in the neighborhood to come look at the pig. Completely forget this is a wild animal who may not like kids.

Next: Spend 2 weeks alternating between spotting the pig, lying on top of the chicken coop with a gun, building a tree stand in the cow pen, spreading corn all over the property, spotting the pig again, and contacting all of your male friends to help you with all of the above. Drink beer.

Third: Wait for the pig to resurface. Wait for weeks since he heard you and all your friends building a tree stand, spreading corn, practicing shooting, and drinking beer. (Note: He did not notice the time you were on the roof of the chicken coop, you guys completely pulled that one off).

Four: Feed cow as usual in early AM and notice pig is there again. Call everyone you know. Get denied on the shooting since pig is way to close to neighbor’s property.

Say a bad word. Then kick something.

Five: Pig shows up late in day at JUST the right time in JUST the right place. Kill pig. HAH!

Ok, now the hard part starts.

Slit throat, hang upside down (remember, it weighs like 250 pounds, call neighbors for help). Slit belly, drop guts (yuk). Now start butchering. It is dark, cold, and raining by now. Be glad you have good friends. Chop into hams, ribs, and bits. Drop all into coolers full of iced salt water. Go to bed, it is after 11 PM.

Next day: Trim fat and finish butchering. Neighbor offers to grind misc bits up for you. Accept offer gratefully.

Day three: Mix up brining solution with cider vinegar, garlic and herbs. Soak hams. This takes all day for 2 people. Brine ham for 3 days.

Day four: Ground pork comes back from neighbor. Make into sausage. Use only fresh herbs from garden. Amazing!!! Share with neighbors.

Day six: rub hams down with Cajun brown sugar rub. Smoke all day. Invite all the people who were great enough to help you get the pig to this point.

Day Seven: Farm eggs and pork sausage – wow! so good! Glad we didn’t have to do all this on our own.


2 lbs. pork

1/2 ib fat.

2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp. pepper

2 tsp fresh sage

2 tsp fresh thyme

1/2 tsp rosemary

1 tblsp sugar

1/2 tsp nutmeg

pinch red pepper


Grind meat. Add herbs. Chill one hour. DO NOT use dried herbs. Taste best with fresh. Form into patties. Fry and enjoy. Do not eat with store eggs, what are you crazy?

Dry Rub

1/2 C. Brown sugar

1 Tblsp Paprika

1 Tblsp Black Pepper

1 Tblsp Salt

1 Tblsp Chili Powder

1 Tblsp Garlic Powder

1 Tblsp Onion Powder

1 Tsp Cayenne

1 Tsp Cinnamon

Mix it up and rub it on. How easy is that?

About crispyfarms

Owner of small family farm in sunny central Florida. Lover of both plants and dogs.
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